Sunday, 30 July 2017

Dating Thai boys (55) I’m busy


Dating Thai boys (55) I’m busy

Recently, somewhere I read something like:

source: internet (poorly stitched together by myself)

If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.

No matter how busy a person is, if they really care, they will always find the time for you.

Instead of saying “I don’t have time” try saying “it’s not a priority”, and see how that feels.

And all of them apply to me and the boys I’m dating. (I call all activities online or in real life where I hope for sex at the end "dating".)

At any given time over the last years, there have been 5 Thai boys who are interested in me, but not so much my type, who would contact me every now and then, but I would not take the call (I mean not hang up, but hold the phone in my hand or put it on the table and wait until the call ends, so the boy doesn't know I received the call), or do not reply instantly, and tell them I’m busy.

But the truth is, I’m not interested or don’t want to go out or have other priorities, or even while telling one boy I’m busy, asking another boy if he is free. For the right boy, I could go anytime, anywhere.

And there have been 5 Thai boys who I’m interested in, and who I would contact every now and then with intention to meet (for sex), and who would either read and not reply, or reply slowly, or tell me they are busy.

This is a huge waste of everyone’s time and energy, and after texting and calling with a boy Kuk Chan I had on 15nov2016 (promising in bed) and who lives just 3 km from me, for now 8 months (contact about twice per month, that’s 16 exchanges of text or calls, and he was never free to meet me), I write the following (my Thai and my translation):

พูดตรง ไม่เกรงใจ สนใจเจอกันอีกมีเซ็กอีกหรือเปล่า ถ้าไม่สนใจไม่เสียเวลาอีก คุยกันหลายเดือนแต่ไม่ว่าง
Be straight, no need to be considerate. Are you interested to meet again for sex or not? If not, we don’t have to waste time. We have been chatting a lot but you are never free.

The answer same day: ไม่สนใจครับ I’m not interested.


(Ask an educated Thai friend how he would say it:
 
พูดตรงๆ อยากเจอกันอีกป่าว ถ้าไม่สนใจ จะได้เลิกคุย 
but he misses the sex part, or maybe that's un-Thai and implied when we had sex before.)

Finally confirmed, as I had suspected. Can cross this one off my list after one promising encounter in bed and 8 months of fruitless chat.

And continue with the next (Benz Korat 24mar2017, now ex-BFC2in2017, not even fuck buddy; our ideas about friendship and sex and relationship are incompatible):

Here as well, after 4 months of fruitless chat (I would have gone to Korat to have sex with see him again if he had been free, and he has been to Bangkok several times, but never free), ask one straight question and get a straight answer!

And now the earliest case I remember where a boy is not interested. We chatted on Camfrog in 2012 (and from his side it was all: miss you, love you, when do you come to see me?), then moved chat to facebook and tried to meet in 2012 and 2013.

Chat from facebook, the boy’s texts in italic:

You're friends on Facebook Studied (edit) at (edit) University
08/02/2012 9:13pm
Hello, how are you? Hope to see you again on camfrog. Regards, Christian
08/02/2012 10:45pm
Yes!!
11/10/2012 7:39pm
Hello, I will go to Thailand for holiday from 22.11. to 12.12.2012. I would like to go to Chantaburi and meet you. On which days are you free? Regards, Christian
11/10/2012 8:53pm
I have to study everyday
11/10/2012 11:04pm
Even on weekend? I can help you with English language if you want. Or we can try again next year.
Aha What's month you come to Thailand ??
11/11/2012 3:24am
I come to Thailand in two weeks November 21st to December 12th
11/11/2012 7:55am
Holiday ?
11/12/2012 3:15am
Yes, I go to Thailand for holiday.
11/12/2012 1:42pm
Aha
03/31/2013 9:51pm
Hello, I am now living and working in Bangkok, in Lak Si area. If you come to Bangkok, please let me know. I hope we can meet.Or I can go to see you in Chantaburi. When are you free? Regards, Christian
04/01/2013 1:16pm
Tomorrow I go to Chiang Mai with my Parents >3<
04/29/2013 5:36pm
Hello, I want to go to Chantaburi for holiday. When are you free to meet? Regards, Christian
I have to study everyday I don't have freetime I'm so sad !
Do you study even on the weekend?
Yes
If you are free, please let me know. I am free every Saturday and Sunday and can come to Chantaburi.
Yes When I have freetime I want to tell U
05/17/2013 5:19pm
Hello, what do you do next weekend and 24.05. (Holiday Visakha Bucha)?
05/18/2013 12:20am
Yes
05/18/2013 12:06pm
Are you free next weekend? I want to go to Chantaburi for holiday and meet you.
Free
05/19/2013 12:17pm
So I can come to Chantaburi and we can meet? I would like to go to วัดเขาสุกิม. (Wat Khao Sukhim)
05/19/2013 2:03pm
OK Are you sure ? Sometime I think I don't have free time for because next week I think my teacher give a many many homework for weekend.

(Read the above again. The boy is back pedaling. Here I have this picture from an adventure movie where the actors are on a boat floating down on river, and then the current gets stronger, and they can hear thunder, and realize they are approaching a waterfall from the upper side!)

05/20/2013 12:51am
I can help you with homework. 555.
05/20/2013 7:50am
;D
05/20/2013 4:33pm
Where in Chantaburi do you live? Can I stay at your place or is there a hotel that is close?
05/22/2013 8:20pm
Hello, what's your phone number?
You don't come to Chanthaburi because I don't a free time I'm sorry for everything
ok, no problem. maybe next time
Thank you
06/07/2013 10:39am
Hello, I will be in Chantaburi this weekend, to meet a friend. If you are free you can call me.
06/07/2013 12:34pm
OK Your friend is come to chanthaburi ?
06/07/2013 2:37pm
My friend lives in Chantaburi. I will stay at his place. My number is (edit). What's your phone number?
08/05/2013 9:04pm
Hello, how are you? What do you do next weekend and Monday (holiday)?
I have midterm test
02/19/2014 9:21pm
Hello, how are you? I will go to Chantaburi this or next month, to เขาคิชกูฏ (Khao Kitchakut) What is the best time to go there? Do you have time to meet?

I give up. Here the signals are so strong that even someone as socially challenged as I understands that he is not interested in meeting. He was stringing me along (attention whore?) as long as I was far away, but when the plans get concrete, back-pedal.

Copyright 2017 ChristianPFC

Thursday, 27 July 2017

Pattaya 18-20jul2017


Pattaya 18-20jul2017

Last trip to Pattaya in May was a full success: http://christianpfc.blogspot.com/2017/06/pattaya-may-2017.html, and now finally I find time to go again. 

Public transport bus 46 in Bangkok, bus 48 from Bangna Trat to North Pattaya bus station, songtheo to walking street, total 127 THB and 3 h 50 min door-to-door.

Tue 18jul2017
So many cute boys on my last trip, in an effort to put two into one night, I invite Gaeng to see me at 1830 (so I don’t waste time with sex while the gogo bars are open, and if the right boy crosses my path I might take him at midnight). On time and everything fine in bed. Now I have had him 3 times in a row, which is a record!

Winner 20:49-21:43. Pineapple juice just 65 Baht! 12 boys and 1 customer when I enter. White briefs “Winner Boy” don’t fit well. Closed shoes. Total 7 customers during my stay.

Tip the boy Add (former Vassa bar) 100 Baht. Not the first time I lay my eyes and hands on him and consider offing him. I can live with the tattoo “ADD” on his back, and the tattoo on his face, and the owl and stars on his chest just pass, but the two butterflies on his inner upper thighs are hideous.

Nice Boys 21:50-22:23. Orange juice 150 (no pj available). 10 boys and 5 customers when I enter. Total 11 customers during my stay. Several of them Chinese (?). When 2 customers and 1 boy start smoking, I make a quick departure.

Power Boys 22:36-23:12. Hot tea 145. 9 boys and no customer when I arrive, 2 customers when I leave.

Euro Boys 23:20-00:27 Hot tea 50. I made several rounds of Sunee in the course of the night, and one of Euro Boys Chan from Cambodia tried every time I passed to get me in, and he is cute, and now is his chance. He and a friend Lao from Lao sit next to me and entertain me throughout my stay. It takes over 10 minutes until I am asked for boy drinks (90 Baht for juice for each of them and 200 tip for Chan at the end – Lao sitting with another customer, else I would have tipped him 100). Promising, will come again for Chan and off him, but tonight sleep more important than sex.

After this very positive experience in host bar (and in May in Jomtien complex as well), I might do more host bars on next trips.

Wed 19jul2017
On last trip I chatted with a very shapely freelance money boy on hornet. Resume contact and try to get him for morning activities, but he is busy cleaning his room (?), so make appointment for tonight. 

Out for sightseeing all day.

In the evening, meet Micky (Mickey?) from Vientiane at Tuk-Com. Good English, efficient communication, on time. In bed everything fine as well. The shapeliest upper thighs I have ever laid my eyes and hands on.

Prism bar 20:47-22:25 Pineapple juice 180. About 17 boys in individual underwear and bare feet. Several of them my type. None of the boys plays on phone (rule of the bar?). During my stay heavy rain outside, so I am trapped for longer than I intended to stay. About 5 customers in course of my stay. Tip #12 and #35 100 Baht each. #1 Dew (used to work in Wild West Boys, then GUY Walking Street) cute but had him several times and boring due to lack of activity in bed.

You can change the table color by pressing the button on the side of the table, there are 16 colors and 4 modes to choose from. They even have a remote control with 16 buttons with the colors.

Kawaii 22:46-23:08 hot tea 150. 7 boys and 1 customer. Individual underwear and closed shoes. 9 boys when I leave.

Dream Boys 22:31-22:45 orange juice 170. 11 boys and no customer. Black individual underwear and closed shoes.

X-Boys 23:12 have a quick look. 3 boys on stage, several more in audience, and about 10 customers. But none of the boys I spot my type, so once again leave without buying a drink.

A-Bomb – 23:24. Hot tea 200. 8 boys in individual white underwear and bare feet. All hunky. None my type. No customer. A-Bomb back to bottom of my list of gogo bars to visit in Pattaya.

Thu 20jul2017
In the morning, try to get a boy for noon, but all too slow in reply. Lunch with Farang friend, talk 3 hours.

I wanted to take the train 14:30, but it’s too late. Buy ticket for van (near Wat Chai) 14:17, departure finally 14:57 (the longest wait ever there). The ticket price has risen to 130 THB, to compensate for lower number of seats: 13 (4x3 in the back one in front). The passage to the back seats is smaller than before!


Pick up more passengers at Bali Hai 15:04-08. 17:21 get out in Din Daeng (van continues to Mor Chit which would be a detour for me). Long wait for bus 13, finally board bus 18:05. When the bus stops I look up from my reading and notice we are in Huay Kwang bus garage, I bordered the bus on the wrong side of the road! In Garage 18:27-32, then continues and I don’t have to buy another ticket. 19:10 pass the spot where I boarded the bus, 19:48 get off in Bon Gai. Total 136.50 THB and 5 h 50 min. Next time take the train. Might be slower, but cheaper and I sit more comfortable on the train than in van back seat.

Copyright 2017 ChristianPFC

Monday, 24 July 2017

Kukrit house in Sathorn

Kukrit house in Sathorn

Full name: M.R.Kukrit's Heritage Home (but in Thai just Baan Soi Suan Phlu บ้านซอยสวนพลู) is a collection of tradition Thai wooden houses in a garden and antiques by former prime minister Kukrit Pramot in Sathorn.

M.R. Kukrit is short for
Mom Ratchawong Kukrit Pramot หม่อมราชวงศ์ คึกฤทธิ์ ปราโมช (Mom Ratchawong(se) is title for great-grandchild of a Thai king, in this case Rama II).



Entrance from Narathiwat Ratchanakarin Soi 7 = Soi Phra Phinit ซอยพระพินิจ = Suan Phlu Soi 1 สวนพลูซอย 1



Open every day 10-16 (except when used for private functions), entry 50 THB for adults. 



Aerial view from nearby The Met Condominium:



Inside collection of antiques, library, khon masks:





Further reading:
http://www.bangkok.com/attraction-palace/kukrits-heritage-home.htm
http://bangkokforvisitors.com/museums/kukrit-house/index.php 
http://www.thaizer.com/tourist-attractions/m-r-kukrits-heritage-home-bangkok/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M.R._Kukrit's_House

List of collections of old wooden houses used as museum:
Jim Thompson House
Kamthieng House Museum  (Siam Society)
Kukrit House
Prasart Museum (admission only on appointment)
Suan Pakkard Palace

Copyright 2017 ChristianPFC

Friday, 21 July 2017

Thai place names in English (joke)

Thai place names in English (joke)

Some not-too-serious translations of Thai place names into English, based on a post I found on facebook:


These are a great exercise for students of Thai, here my translations and explanations where not obvious (some with help of a Thai friend, some translations from Thai2English):

What are these places in Thailand?

1. Stop drug อยุธยา Ayutthaya (หยุด-ยา)

2. Battle town ลพบุรี Lopburi (รบ [to] fight ; combat), or better:

Minus/erase/delete town ลพบุรี Lopburi (ลบ [to be] negative, [to] remove ; delete ; take away)

3. Great matter blue มหาสารคาม Maha Sarakham (สาร săan (a chemical) substance ; essence, คราม indigo ; indigo blue)

4. Mommy room teach แม่ฮ่องสอน Mae Hong Son (ห้อง hông room, same pronunciation as ฮ่อง (no meaning))

5. Diamond complete เพชรบุรี Petburi

6. Pool town สระบุรี Saraburi (same spelling, but different pronunciation สระ sà pool)

7. Money ตรัง Trang (ตัง is short for สตางค์ sà-dtaang colloquial used for “money”)

8. Monk leg สงขลา Songkhla (สงฆ์ Noun, of Pali/Sanskrit origin monk, ขาขา kăa leg ; limb ; foot)

9. Book war สมุทรสงคราม Samut Songkram
10. Fish china town ปราจีนบุรี Prachinburi
11. Invasion แพร่ Phrae

12. Pool magic city สกลนคร Sakon Nakon (สระ-กล-นคร, กล or มายากล jugglery ; conjuring ; magic)

13. City monk milk นครพนม Nakon Phanom (นคร-พระ-นม)

14. City lion come นครราชสีมา Nakon Ratchasima (ราชสีห์ râat-chá-sĕe, one of the words for lion:
สิงโต sĭng dtoh is the animal from Africa,
สิงห์ sing Leo, fifth sign of the zodiac,
ราชสีห์ râat-chá-sĕe yet another mythological lion)

15. No devil town นครสวรรค์ Nakon Sawan (สวรรค์ heaven)

16. Dot meeting mountain lough ประจวบคีรีขันธ์ (no idea about dot; ประจวบ bprà-jùap [to] coincide ; be coincident with ; collide, คีรี kee-ree mountain, ขัน kăn amusingly ; funnily ; ridiculously)

17. Small monk พะเยา Phayao (พระ-เยา [to be] low ; little ; weak)
18. Growth power อำนาจเจริญ Amnat Charoen
19. That (demonstrative pronoun) น่าน Nan
20. Prime Minister’s city นครนายก Nakon Nayok
21. He’s big เขาไหญ่ Khao Yai

22. KFC casino บ่อนไก่ Bon Gai (บ่อน bòn den ; house (used for illicit activites like gambling)

23. Some Crab บางปู Bang Pu (บาง baang Quantifier some ; a few, but here it means village ; settlement)

24. Beautiful circle yesterday งามวงวาน Ngam Wong Wan (งาม in compounds like สวยงาม sŭay ngaam beautiful ; attractive ; charming, วง wong group ; circle ; sector, วาน waan yesterday)

25. Separate dance wheat แยกลำสาลี Yaek Lamsalee

26. Hold elephant เกาะช้าง Koh Chang (เกาะ has two meanings: island and [to] hold ; cling ; arrest)

27. Soft Lady อ่อนนุช On Nut

28. Speaker head หัวลำโพง Hua Lampong
Used to be วัวลำโพง Wua Lampong (cow/bull/ox gets angry and hits people), then during in WWII, loudspeakers were installed to warn people of allied bombings, and the name was changed to หัวลำโพง Hua Lampong. Furthermore, there is Hua Lampong canal (one running along Narathiwat Ratchanakarin road and another parallel south of Rama 4 road)

29. Some 007 (James Bond) บางบอน

30. Not sad อโศก Asok (อโศก has two meanings: Ashoka the Great (Indian King) and [to be] sad ; unhappy ; depressed)

My own addition:

31. The field of the great cloud ทุ่งมหาเมฆ Thung Maha Mek (sub-district in which Malaysia hotel is located)

And some unfavorable English renderings of names of BTS stations:
Mor Chit - More shit, On Nut - One nut, Chit Lom - Shit room.

And equivalent jokes in English language:
Which country in Europe has the most rain? Uk-rain!
Which country in Asia consumes most beer? Singha-pour!

update: town names in Thailand mainly agricultural, whereas in Germany we have Eisenhuettenstadt, -furt (passing over a river), salz and similar industrial/mining.

ChristianPFC 2017

Tuesday, 18 July 2017

Dating Thai boys (54) BFC5in2017 Ball in Kanchanaburi

Dating Thai boys (54) BFC5in2017 Ball in Kanchanaburi

During my Songkran escape to Kanchanaburi, I had a promising chat with a boy Ball on hornet (starting 14apr2017), that warranted a visit. Ball lives and works in Kanchanaburi province, 50 km out of Kanchanaburi town.

Tue 25apr2017 Kanchanaburi
Ball is free now (Tue and Wed for temple fair to which he invites me). Meet at Kanchanaburi bus station (he is already there with a friend waiting for me, a good start) and take another bus (about 1 hour) to his home town. He does not ask for money for the bus trip, a good sign (NOT! We will later come back to this!) At bus stop there, his sister comes by car to take us to nearby resort where I check in for one night (450 Baht). The resort was in walking distance, and I could have walked in less time than we waited for his sister.

By car to temple fair for a first look, then back to my resort on his mocy for a rest. I take shower and we lie in bed and I initiate sexual activities. My type, but a bit rushed and style-wise room for improvement. Sleep an hour, and at night to temple fair again. However, this is not at all my style and at 9 pm I ask him to take me back to resort, where I read 2 hours alone in my room and sleep at 11. Leave door unlocked for him to join me later.

Wed 26apr2017 Kanchanaburi
Wake up around 8 and find the boy sleeping next to me. A few gropes: perfectly warm and dry skin. But alas, the dreaded phone call: the fair will continue soon and we have to go now. (During dressing, I find the pocket that contains my wallet open, and I can’t think of any reasons why I would have left the pocket open, and there might be some 100 Baht notes missing. Should have counted! Keep that in mind for next time we meet.) Breakfast at the temple fair, then sightseeing (temple near his place that is on my list). At the temple, he tells me that his father is mentally disabled and lies in bed all day (that’s not something I would tell on a date, and should have gotten my alarm bells ringing – subconsciously, I changed subjects because I knew where this would lead).

From what I have seen and heard so far, there is nothing to be gained from staying another night (if sex had been awesome, I would have stayed another night), check out and to bus station and goodbye. No money requests!

That was 5h27min and 155 Baht travel (door to door) getting there, and 5h19min and 151 Baht back.

On the way back, I congratulate myself to finding a boy who is my type (we need to work a bit on the sex part) and who I can spend 20 hours with without any games or drama or requests for money. BFC5in2017!

But I was rejoicing to early! Shortly after reaching home, we have the following conversation (my translation; explanations in italic):

Chat history with Ball Kan
(several chats over the week before the trip, to see if he can think clearly and form a full sentence in Thai, and test for delay between messages - all positive!)
2017/04/26(Wed)
12:32 Ball Kan ถึงไหน Where are you now?
12:37 Christian บ้านโป่ง Baan Pong (town in Ratchaburi province on the way to Bangkok)
15:09 Christian ถึง I’m home.
19:47 Ball Kan ครับ Krap = Ok.
19:47 Ball Kan เป็นไง What’s up?
19:47 Ball Kan ชอบไหม Do you like me?
19:47 Christian ผมชอบบอล I like you.
19:47 Ball Kan จริงรึครับ Really?
19:48 Ball Kan บ้านเราจนนะ My family is poor.
19:48 Christian จริง Really?
19:48 Ball Kan ไม่มีเงินนะ We don’t have money.
19:49 Ball Kan คุณจะชอบไหม Do you still like me?
19:49 Christian ไม้เป็นไร It doesn’t matter.
19:49 Ball Kan บ้านก็ไม่ค่อยดี Our house isn’t nice.
19:49 Christian มีแอร์มั้ย Do you have aircon?

(I’m fishing for an invitation to stay at his place next time. In Kanchanaburi town I would prefer a hotel so I have freedom, but in rural area I’m dependent on him for transport, and there is nothing to do anyway, so I can as well stay in his place and save money for hotel.)

19:49 Ball Kan ไม่มี We don’t have.
19:50 Ball Kan คุณก็มาติดสิถึงมี When you come again you can have one installed.
19:50 Christian น้ำอุนมีมั้ย Do you have hot water?
19:50 Ball Kan ไม่มี We don’t have.
19:51 Ball Kan ไม่มีเงินทำ We don’t have money for water heater.
19:51 Ball Kan เงินเดือนน้อยมาก We have very little money to spend.
19:51 Christian ก็พักโรงแรมดีดว่าพักห้องบอล Then I will rather stay in a hotel than in your room.
19:53 Ball Kan เครตามใจ As you like.
19:53 Ball Kan บ้านเราไม่มีอ่ะไร We have nothing.
19:54 Ball Kan บ้านเราไม่ใช่คนมีเงิน Our house is not like the house of rich people.
19:54 Christian หอพักที่ท่าม่วงมีแอร์มั้ย Do you have aircon in your dormitory in Tha Muang?
19:54 Ball Kan มี yes.
19:54 Ball Kan แต่เล็ก But it’s small.
19:54 Christian พักกับใคร Who do you stay with?
19:54 Ball Kan คนเดียว Alone.
19:59 Ball Kan ทำไมรึ Why?
19:59 Ball Kan มีอ่ะไร Why do you want to know?
(I’m still looking for a place to stay for free when I go again.)
19:59 Christian โอกาสหน้าไปหาที่ท่าม่วงได้มั้ย Can I go to see you in Tha Muang?
20:00 Christian รึบอลจะมาหาที่กทม Or will you come to Bangkok?
20:00 Ball Kan เราไม่มีเงิน I don’t have money.
20:01 Christian ก็รอผมจะไปกาญอีกประมาน2เดือน Then wait until I go to Kanchanaburi again in two months. (Estimate, I have no plan yet. If the sex had been good, I would be back in a week.)
20:02 Ball Kan อ่อ Oh
20:02 Ball Kan มาพักต้องช่วยกันออก When you come to stay with me, can you help me?
(I can’t figure out what he means, so I leave this message read but no reply to see if he gives more information.)
20:06 Ball Kan คุณไม่โอเครใช้ไหม Is it ok?
20:06 Christian งง ช่วยกันอะไร I’m confused. Help with what?
20:06 Ball Kan ช่วยออกเงินไง Help paying rent.
20:07 Ball Kan คุณไม่โอเครผมไม่ว่า It’s not ok?
20:07 Christian ถ้าผมพักกับบอลที่ท่าม่วงช่วยออกเงินรึ You want me to pay rent when I stay with you in Tha Muang? (How awkward!)
20:08 Ball Kan ใช้ Yes.
20:09 Ball Kan เราก็เสียเงิน I have to pay for my room.
20:09 Christian ห้องเดือนละกี่บาท How much is your room per month?
20:09 Ball Kan 2000
20:11 Ball Kan ท่าไม่โอเครไม่ว่า If not, that’s fine.
20:11 Christian พัก1คืนจะช่วย100 When I stay for one night, I can give you 100 Baht.
20:13 Ball Kan คุณหาคนอื่นก่อนคริสเตียน Maybe you better find someone else.
20:13 Ball Kan เราจน I’m poor.
20:13 Ball Kan ลองหาคนมีเงินดู Try to find someone rich.
20:14 Christian ไม่เป็นไร It doesn’t matter.
20:14 Ball Kan คือ What do you mean?
20:15 Ball Kan อ่ะไร What does not matter.
20:16 Christian ผมไม่เลือกคนตามรวย I’m not looking for someone rich.
20:16 Ball Kan แต่คุณประหยัดมาก But you are a very economical person.
20:19 Ball Kan เคร Ok?
20:20 Ball Kan คุณก็ลองหาคนอื่นดู Go and look for someone else.
20:21 Ball Kan คุณก็หาเอา You will find.
20:24 Ball Kan โอเครนะ Ok?
20:24 Ball Kan คริสเตียน Christian
20:26 Ball Kan คุณเที่ยวซาวหน้าต่อเถอะ Go for fun in a sauna.  
(I mentioned visits to gay saunas in Bangkok, a mistake.)
20:28 Ball Kan โอเค Ok.
20:30 Ball Kan พาคุณเที่ยว Go on a trip.
20:30 Ball Kan คุณไม่เลี้ยงอ่ะไรเลย You didn’t invite me for anything.
20:32 Christian เอาเลี้วยอะไร What do you want me to invite you for?
20:33 Ball Kan คือไร What?
20:34 Christian อยากผมลี้ยงคุนอะไร (rephrase the above)
20:34 Ball Kan เลี้ยงข้าว Invite me for food.
20:34 Ball Kan หรือเลี้ยงอ่ะไรก็ได้ or whatever you want.
20:34 Christian ที่งานมีข้าวฟรี But at the fair there was free food!
20:35 Ball Kan ก็ใช่ Well that’s true.
20:35 Ball Kan จ่ายค่ารถเมย์ก็ยังดี Pay for my bus.
20:35 Christian ก็ต้องถามขอค่ารถ Then you should have asked for the bus fare.
20:36 Ball Kan ต้องให้ผมขอ You want me to ask you?
20:39 Ball Kan ใช่ไหม Right?
20:39 Ball Kan มันไม่ใช่นิสัยคนไทย That’s not customary in Thailand.
20:40 Ball Kan มันคือน้ำใจที่คุณต้องให้ It’s your obligation to be kind and offer to pay.
20:41 Ball Kan ไม่ใช่ให้เราขอ I should not have to ask.

(I’m taken aback. Did I miss something in all those years I have spent here? It is not customary for Thai people to ask for favors? Is he pulling my leg?)

20:41 Christian ผมไม่ชอบคุยเรีองเงิน I don’t like to talk about money matters.
20:42 Christian ตลอดเมีองไทย ทุกที่ผมไป ทุกคนขอเงิ Everywhere in Thailand, everyone I meet, they all want money!
20:42 Christian ทุกคนขอเงิน Everyone asks me for money!
20:42 Ball Kan ตามสบาย Take it easy!
20:42 Ball Kan เราไม่ได้ขอ I didn’t ask for anyting.
20:42 Ball Kan มันคือน้ำใจ It’s your kindness to take care of me.
20:45 Ball Kan [Sticker] (Do you understand?)
20:47 Christian โอกาสหน้าเจอกันที่กาญจะเลี้ยงกินข้าว Next time we meet in Kanchanaburi, I will invite you for dinner.
20:47 Ball Kan ไม่รู้จะว่างป่าว But you don’t know yet when you will be free?
23:14 Ball Kan [Sticker]
(Resume chat with change of subject to stay in contact and meet whenever I’m in Kanchanaburi again. He is still on my list, but we haven’t met again at time of posting.)

Now the lackluster sex makes sense: he was thinking how he can get me to fill the vacant position of a provider.

(The lowest point of lackluster sex was in 2013 when I went to see a boy who lived nearby, who asked me during foreplay if my mobile phone has data and if I could set it up as WiFi-hotspot so he can play on his phone using my data package.

The boy Bank whom I gave my phone numbers in Seed in 2015 (?), then met a week after in The Mall Bangkapi. There he walked me through the mobile phone aisles, then we took boat to Seed, there I had some gropes, but couldn't get him into a cubicle, and I was wondering what that all was about, until I got an SMS on my way home: "I want an iPhone".

Recent examples of boy having other things on his mind than sex is the one I took to a gay sauna, and who was afraid someone would look over the wall and lost his erection over this; and Rit the Muslim who was more occupied with getting the right light and angle for taking pictures and videos of our activity than pleasing me.) 

This can be generalized for most of my non-paid encounters:
I’m looking for sex, boy looks for a provider or some material or financial advantage.

There is no such thing as free sex in Thailand! (Between people of different status.) Others probably have said it before, but I thought this doesn’t apply to me because I speak the language and have more knowledge than the average tourist, but I was wrong!

Except for encounters in saunas and the errant horny boy online, all boys I meet are looking more for a provider than for sex.

Rather sooner than later, rather more than less, they expect a financial or material reward. This is expressed in weak or strong hints, lackluster in bed, slow reply, no-show.

Some boys tell me they are looking for a provider, and I leave them. Others don’t tell me, but leave me.

Boy tries to find someone else who gives money, I try to find someone else who doesn’t ask for money. That’s what I’ve been doing since 2009.

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