Sunday, 30 July 2017

Dating Thai boys (55) I’m busy


Dating Thai boys (55) I’m busy

Recently, somewhere I read something like:

source: internet (poorly stitched together by myself)

If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.

No matter how busy a person is, if they really care, they will always find the time for you.

Instead of saying “I don’t have time” try saying “it’s not a priority”, and see how that feels.

And all of them apply to me and the boys I’m dating. (I call all activities online or in real life where I hope for sex at the end "dating".)

At any given time over the last years, there have been 5 Thai boys who are interested in me, but not so much my type, who would contact me every now and then, but I would not take the call (I mean not hang up, but hold the phone in my hand or put it on the table and wait until the call ends, so the boy doesn't know I received the call), or do not reply instantly, and tell them I’m busy.

But the truth is, I’m not interested or don’t want to go out or have other priorities, or even while telling one boy I’m busy, asking another boy if he is free. For the right boy, I could go anytime, anywhere.

And there have been 5 Thai boys who I’m interested in, and who I would contact every now and then with intention to meet (for sex), and who would either read and not reply, or reply slowly, or tell me they are busy.

This is a huge waste of everyone’s time and energy, and after texting and calling with a boy Kuk Chan I had on 15nov2016 (promising in bed) and who lives just 3 km from me, for now 8 months (contact about twice per month, that’s 16 exchanges of text or calls, and he was never free to meet me), I write the following (my Thai and my translation):

พูดตรง ไม่เกรงใจ สนใจเจอกันอีกมีเซ็กอีกหรือเปล่า ถ้าไม่สนใจไม่เสียเวลาอีก คุยกันหลายเดือนแต่ไม่ว่าง
Be straight, no need to be considerate. Are you interested to meet again for sex or not? If not, we don’t have to waste time. We have been chatting a lot but you are never free.

The answer same day: ไม่สนใจครับ I’m not interested.


(Ask an educated Thai friend how he would say it:
 
พูดตรงๆ อยากเจอกันอีกป่าว ถ้าไม่สนใจ จะได้เลิกคุย 
but he misses the sex part, or maybe that's un-Thai and implied when we had sex before.)

Finally confirmed, as I had suspected. Can cross this one off my list after one promising encounter in bed and 8 months of fruitless chat.

And continue with the next (Benz Korat 24mar2017, now ex-BFC2in2017, not even fuck buddy; our ideas about friendship and sex and relationship are incompatible):

Here as well, after 4 months of fruitless chat (I would have gone to Korat to have sex with see him again if he had been free, and he has been to Bangkok several times, but never free), ask one straight question and get a straight answer!

And now the earliest case I remember where a boy is not interested. We chatted on Camfrog in 2012 (and from his side it was all: miss you, love you, when do you come to see me?), then moved chat to facebook and tried to meet in 2012 and 2013.

Chat from facebook, the boy’s texts in italic:

You're friends on Facebook Studied (edit) at (edit) University
08/02/2012 9:13pm
Hello, how are you? Hope to see you again on camfrog. Regards, Christian
08/02/2012 10:45pm
Yes!!
11/10/2012 7:39pm
Hello, I will go to Thailand for holiday from 22.11. to 12.12.2012. I would like to go to Chantaburi and meet you. On which days are you free? Regards, Christian
11/10/2012 8:53pm
I have to study everyday
11/10/2012 11:04pm
Even on weekend? I can help you with English language if you want. Or we can try again next year.
Aha What's month you come to Thailand ??
11/11/2012 3:24am
I come to Thailand in two weeks November 21st to December 12th
11/11/2012 7:55am
Holiday ?
11/12/2012 3:15am
Yes, I go to Thailand for holiday.
11/12/2012 1:42pm
Aha
03/31/2013 9:51pm
Hello, I am now living and working in Bangkok, in Lak Si area. If you come to Bangkok, please let me know. I hope we can meet.Or I can go to see you in Chantaburi. When are you free? Regards, Christian
04/01/2013 1:16pm
Tomorrow I go to Chiang Mai with my Parents >3<
04/29/2013 5:36pm
Hello, I want to go to Chantaburi for holiday. When are you free to meet? Regards, Christian
I have to study everyday I don't have freetime I'm so sad !
Do you study even on the weekend?
Yes
If you are free, please let me know. I am free every Saturday and Sunday and can come to Chantaburi.
Yes When I have freetime I want to tell U
05/17/2013 5:19pm
Hello, what do you do next weekend and 24.05. (Holiday Visakha Bucha)?
05/18/2013 12:20am
Yes
05/18/2013 12:06pm
Are you free next weekend? I want to go to Chantaburi for holiday and meet you.
Free
05/19/2013 12:17pm
So I can come to Chantaburi and we can meet? I would like to go to วัดเขาสุกิม. (Wat Khao Sukhim)
05/19/2013 2:03pm
OK Are you sure ? Sometime I think I don't have free time for because next week I think my teacher give a many many homework for weekend.

(Read the above again. The boy is back pedaling. Here I have this picture from an adventure movie where the actors are on a boat floating down on river, and then the current gets stronger, and they can hear thunder, and realize they are approaching a waterfall from the upper side!)

05/20/2013 12:51am
I can help you with homework. 555.
05/20/2013 7:50am
;D
05/20/2013 4:33pm
Where in Chantaburi do you live? Can I stay at your place or is there a hotel that is close?
05/22/2013 8:20pm
Hello, what's your phone number?
You don't come to Chanthaburi because I don't a free time I'm sorry for everything
ok, no problem. maybe next time
Thank you
06/07/2013 10:39am
Hello, I will be in Chantaburi this weekend, to meet a friend. If you are free you can call me.
06/07/2013 12:34pm
OK Your friend is come to chanthaburi ?
06/07/2013 2:37pm
My friend lives in Chantaburi. I will stay at his place. My number is (edit). What's your phone number?
08/05/2013 9:04pm
Hello, how are you? What do you do next weekend and Monday (holiday)?
I have midterm test
02/19/2014 9:21pm
Hello, how are you? I will go to Chantaburi this or next month, to เขาคิชกูฏ (Khao Kitchakut) What is the best time to go there? Do you have time to meet?

I give up. Here the signals are so strong that even someone as socially challenged as I understands that he is not interested in meeting. He was stringing me along (attention whore?) as long as I was far away, but when the plans get concrete, back-pedal.

Copyright 2017 ChristianPFC

3 comments:

  1. Based on this entry and other entries, you are not really interested in "dating" a thai boy are you that you are looking for is a sex partner that hopefully does not cost you to much baht and has the correct skin temperature and dryness. Why not actually try to "date" a thai boy first before you try and get into there pants?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are right. Recent BFC (to be published shortly) gave some new insights that point into the same direction.

      What do you understand by "dating"? The problem is apart from sex there is very little overlap in interests. And I have to be wary of those who just try to drain me for invitations/gifts.

      On the other hand, I had boys fishing for invitation to my room when we first met, so having sex on first date is not uncommon. And sex is the bottleneck, so I try to put this first to avoid spending time and money with someone who is not my type/style. Once that is sorted out, I'm open for other activities as well.

      Delete
  2. This really sounds rather hopeless, your quest for boyfriend, unless by bf you actually mean a sex buddy on a permanent basis. If you start from the presumption that with a typical thai boy there is too little common ground to connect, other than sex, then there is not much point trying to 'date' them, is there? But I also somewhat understand the issue, I don't have too many common interests with my thai bf either. However we find also things to talk about and common experiences, as time goes by.

    ReplyDelete

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