Friday, 27 April 2018

Looking for an alternative to Thailand

Looking for an alternative to Thailand

Some might have noticed that ChristianPFC is less active on his blog and on the forums. Here is the reason.

Over the last 5 years I have settled nicely in Thailand (many friends, a lot of traveling in Thailand or visa runs, gay activities), and could continue for many years, but the day will come when the Thai Embassy will not issue me another tourist visa, or immigration refused me entry, or I lose my mind over gay dating bullshit.

Careful readers of my blog might have noticed that I became disenchanted over the years and see more and more negatives. Driving along Ngam Wong Wan Road in Bangkok: the boy who tried to steal my camera lived there; passing through Pak Tho district in Ratchaburi province: the time waster in Ladprao Soi 107 comes from here; and many more; of which Ton SBP was particularly disappointing http://christianpfc.blogspot.tw/2017/05/dating-thai-boys-52-bfc4in2017-ton.html

Until 2016, I used to extend my stay from 60 days to 90 days at immigration in Chaeng Wattana, now I stay only 60 days and am looking forward to my next trip to Myanmar or Taiwan.

Time for an in-depth analysis of my situation!

Thai people

The Thai are fun-loving, care-free, decision-procrastinating, non-commital, not-considering-results-of-actions people, just the opposite of ChristianPFC! That might be great for a holiday, but not so great to spend the rest of my life here.

Others are less generous on their judgment of Thai society:

“…let alone one from a conformist, chauvinist, anti-intellectual culture like Thailand.”

I’m not happy in Thailand and part of the problem is the people. With all my planning I cannot compensate for their unreliability, with all my intellectual superiority (PhD in chemistry, four foreign languages) I cannot compensate for their shortcomings. And all my commitment cannot compensate for what I see as their deficiencies.

Friends recommended I look for quality boys, but if I stop dating all those idiots, retards, money boys, there is nobody left!

All superficial interactions (bus/train/taxi, restaurant, hotel, hitchhiking, chatting to random strangers on the road) are fine, if you avoid the scams in tourist areas. Thai people you meet only once or deal with for business (restaurant, hotel, taxi) are nice, but when you befriend someone they will soon ask to borrow money, often unreasonable amounts, for unreasonable purposes, at unsuitable moments.

ChristianPFC

My Asperger Autism is worse than I thought, and creates a problem in interaction with normal folk for getting laid or with Human Resources for getting a job. Multitasking? Does picking my nose while watching TV count? Work in a team? I’m fine with group sex, but everything else I do better and faster alone. Working under pressure? For ChristianPFC it’s not “fight or flight” it’s “freeze”.

For an Asperger Autist, dating is a simple matter: “Shall we have intercourse? Yes/No? If yes, where and when?” But others make it so very complicated!

Other foreigners in Thailand

I’m not the only one who is dissatisfied. A friend who participated many years in the trade got tired of the attitude, bullshit, corruption, scams and now limits his stay in Thailand to a few days each trip, on the way to elsewhere in SEAsia. Another friend also nowadays spends most of his holiday elsewhere. Yet another, would have preferred Indonesia, but a long time stay there is difficult, so he settled in Thailand. Similar reports can be found on https://www.stickmanbangkok.com/ which has gone quiet because the author has returned to his home country! And in May 2017 I met a western guy in Taipei who spent many years in Thailand, but then moved on to Taiwan (and is now doing visa runs from Taiwan to Thailand!).

But that’s only one side. Many have settled down nicely in Thailand, be they single or married; in the provinces or the cities, spending all their time in Thailand or splitting it between Thailand and their home country, going native or creating their bubble. Great for them, but unfortunately I haven’t found such a niche. Others might be more tolerant, alcohol probably helps. Or are they simply stuck in Thailand because they don’t have the energy or money to go elsewhere? 

Time for a change

Personally and professionally (my one year of employment in 2013), Thailand has been a dead end, or rather a dead and being stuck in the mud.

I was looking for regular free sex or even to finding a boyfriend, but after exploring all options the only reasonable way to get sex is with moneyboys (online in Bangkok and in the bars in Pattaya).

There is only so much bullshit I can take. That level was exceeded long ago, but I’m a procrastinator. But now it's time to move on!

Albert Einstein said: "Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving."


I’m not a tree, if I don’t like where I am, I can go elsewhere!

Where to go?

Which country will host me? Which country shall I grace with my presence? The choice of countries and their merits are the following:

Lao: almost the same as Thailand (language, culture) but not much to do.
Malaysia and Indonesia: Muslim and homophobic, I don’t even have to check other factors.
Singapore: too expensive and too small.
Cambodia: cuter boys than Thailand, long-time stay easy, but no sightseeing to keep me occupied and language not useful elsewhere.
Vietnam: cute boys (but too pale for my taste), long-time stay difficult, everything else fine (language could be useful for obtaining a job, sightseeing opportunities for years).
Update: friend says visa situation has changed, not it is easier to long-stay in Vietnam than in Cambodia.
Myanmar: cuter boys than Thailand, long-time stay difficult, everything else fine (language could be useful for obtaining a job, sightseeing opportunities for years). Myanmar would be my first choice if they had a long time visa for tourists.
Taiwan: cute boys (but again, too pale for my taste), 90 days visa free entry for Germans (awesome!), language could be useful for obtaining a job, sightseeing opportunities for years.
Philippines: I haven’t been yet.

A friend pointed out that not just Malaysia and Indonesia have homophobic laws, but Myanmar and Singapore as well. But the difference is that in Myanmar and Singapore, these laws are a remnants of British colonial rule and homophobia is not a cultural thing in these countries. Whereas in Malaysia and Indonesia, homophobia comes with Islam and is deeply rooted. https://www.amnesty.org/en/latest/news/2017/05/indonesia-caning-of-gay-men-an-outrageous-act-of-cruelty/

Taiwan comes out on top!

And once there is an easy way to stay in Myanmar longtime as a tourist, that will be another country I will definitely afflict!

At this point, let me thank everyone who paved my way to Taiwan. Without recommendations by fountainhall, confirmed by another friend, I would never have strayed that far away from Thailand for a visa run. And ultimately, above mentioned western guy said he was in my situation before.

The idea of spending more time or even living in Taiwan can be traced back to an Email that I sent stickman and that appeared in his column (in italics below) https://www.stickmanbangkok.com/weekly-column/2017/05/bargirl-relationships-today/, but it took me a year to get it into my Thailand/Germany/visa runs/season of the year rut.

26may2017
Having lived in Bangkok for 4 years (I can read and write Thai and travel extensively), and been to Taipei twice for visa run, I have to say that Taipei is better value for money. People are civilized, climate is temperate. If I had known about Taiwan 6 years ago, I would probably have skipped Thailand after a few holidays and settled in Taiwan.

Taipei, Taiwan, is where I am now and taking full advantage of 90 days (awesome!) visa free stay for Germans. As I wouldn’t want to stay longtime without speaking the language, and have nothing else to do anyway (without speaking the language, being somewhere for a longer time is not fun) I’m spending my time studying Chinese language, which turns out to be a full-time occupation, much harder than Thai was.


In my naïveté, I thought I could study Chinese and in parallel continue blogging (and finish some old drafts of time-consuming posts) and reading forums, but that was a misconception. I’m busy studying, with very little time left, which I use for visits to gay venues and hiking.

Whoever is missing my posts can go here for entertainment: https://www.facebook.com/

Wish me luck, so I can be the next westerner who switches from spending most of his time in Thailand to using Thailand simply as a stopover and living elsewhere in South East Asia. And, hopefully, finding a country where I shall feel more comfortable with the population.

Details about living in Taiwan compared to Thailand will follow.

Copyright 2018 ChristianPFC except pictures

30 comments:

  1. A bit of a suprise.
    Did you consider going back to Europe, not necessary Germany, get a well paid job and just make a career and some money? Mid thirties, if you are that age, is not the right age to retire and do nothing.
    Through the years I have enjoyed your blog, your openness and quirky humour, looking forward to your next chapter in Taiwan.

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  2. I have enjoyed your Thai blog and been one of your faithful readers, and I hope you will find time in the future to start a Taiwanese blog.
    I cannot speak for you, as we come from different cultures and generations. I can only tell you what "Home" was for me. Home was not something I ran from or to, it was were I stopped running from myself.

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  3. I kind of respect & agree with a lot of the Christian PFC traits & we're aligned in a lot of our principles.

    HOWEVER:
    1 Are you intellectually superior if it takes so long to figure out & tire of Thai behaviour ?

    2 I do tend to agree with Hen Stal's comments. Making money comes into it. Free sex with cute lads sometimes happens at your age. As you get older, it's more likely to be free sex with older lads or paying for the cute guys. Of course, if you have that taken care of, no worries. If you don't, then, I suggest the key points are to EARN, INVEST & then ENJOY the benefits of wealth.

    I expect living in Taiwan must cost a lot more, since costs correlate to GDP & GDP is at developed country levels.

    Anyway, I look forward to following the next steps on your journey.
    Z909

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  4. Oh no! No more crazy Thai places?

    Good luck in Taiwan and I'm looking forward to read about your exploits there.

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  5. Surprised, but kind of understandable that you felt like needing a change. Will certainly miss your company next time in BKK. Take care & enjoy Taiwan!

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  6. you will be back but for now I hope you are happy in Taipei.

    You invested too much time and efforts in Thailand to simply say good bye and move , at least that's my guess

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  7. Thanks Christianpfc ! Thank you

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  8. best luck for you, and thanks for 4 years with you

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  9. I have also enjoyed this blog. But it seems for someone with Asperger's Thailand is not an easy place to live. Here is a short list (as ChristianPFC likes lists...):
    1. Thais almost never say whay they think, if it involves anything negative. And you sre supposed to pick the true meaning from the nonverbal cues. So the meaning 'I am not interested in you, I do not want to meet again' is behind some meaningless words, said with a smile! I think this has created a lot of puzzlement and frustration in this blog.
    2. Plans are not meant to be kept. You have to be completely flexible, what happens during the day, even if in the morning everything seems as all set.
    3. Promises are not meant to be kept. Maybe for important things, yes, if you are lucky. But things like 'I will call you tonight' - no problems, if something distracting came up or just did not feel like it.

    These are all commonly mentioned issues, but seems to me for ChristianPFC they are really just the wrong set and more difficult to deal with.

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  10. don't worry guys, Christian can move from Thailand but Thailand will not move from Christian

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  11. I have to thank you,Christian. You did wonderful blogs for all and i enjoyed them a lot.

    That would be a little bit sad you you leave Thailand but i know that's good for you. Please keep your blogs updaded in Taiwan. I think your blog is a part of my online time :D:D:D:D

    Thank you Christian.

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  12. I found your Thailand blog refreshing and an ideal antidote to a lot of the nonsense written in chat rooms by the casual sex tourists only interested in sleeping, eating and fucking. I wish you luck in Taipei and look forward to regular reports.

    A;though you are probably a lot younger than your readers, I am continually saddened by those who repeat the old mantra that parting money is the only way for older men to enjoy sex with younger Asians (Z909 above). Sad because they have obviously not bothered to get to know that there is quite a large group of younger guys who are only interested in older guys. I'm sure this must also be true of Taiwan, although you may not be so aware of it at your age.

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  14. I give it two years max before you are having the same issues and having the same complaints about the boys in Taiwan as you have about the boys in Thailand. Here are some ideas for you. The only thing that will remain the same is YOU Christian.

    1) Get rid of your German Colonial Superiority bullshit against the little young brown people that you love to have sex with. I would say that the majority of Thai people that you meet are far superior than you will ever be.

    2) If you are really as smart as you say with a PHD and the ability to speak four languages, have you ever thought about joining a professional organization in Thailand where you can meet people that are similar to you.

    3) Join a gym or some sort of group that has Thai people in so that you can meet people that have other interests beside sex.

    4) Take some medicine for all of your mental health issues, since you obviously have a lot of issues.

    5) Stop hanging out with the pedophile sex tourist(s) that you are all ways hanging out with. All you are doing with them is listening to the same complaints like you are having.


    If in two years of being in Taiwan and you are still having issues, I would strongly suggest that you had back to Germany and build a bunker (Germans are good at that) and live in it for the rest of your life.

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  15. I have just come back from a 4-day short trip from Bangkok and I agree that Bangkok is losing its magic here. You couldn't have a good time at those commercial places even if you already paid a few bahts more than you were comfortable with (ok maybe I am cheap). Funny enough for the last three trips I had the most fun with a gogo boy from Myanmar and Vietnam. Maybe it is time for me to go beyond my comfort zone and see the world! P.S. I love Taiwan as well

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  16. Consider China

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  17. Thanks everyone for their replies. Some points addressed here:

    “get a well paid job and just make a career and some money?” In principle yes (being unemployed is hard work!), but Asperger Autism gets in the way. The normal route (job application, job interview) will not work for me. Besides, the job market in Europe is as rotten as gay dating in Thailand. Own experience from sending plenty of job applications and going to two job interviews, confirmed by speaking with friends.

    “not the right age to retire and do nothing.” I wouldn’t call what I do here “do nothing”. What I write about is only a small part of my activities. None of them sitting at a bar or watching TV.

    “Are you intellectually superior if it takes so long to figure out & tire of Thai behaviour?“ I have above average IQ, but below average EQ. Furthermore, I grew up a sheltered live. Grammar school, family and friends, all civilized, educated people. Only during my 10 months in the army did I get in contact with normal folk. But then afterwards during studying and work, again all educated civilized people. It was simply unconceivable for me that you make an appointment this Thursday for next Tuesday, and that person would forget or engage in some other activity.

    “I expect living in Taiwan must cost a lot more…” It does, factor 2 to 3. Details later.

    “for someone with Asperger's Thailand is not an easy place to live” A friend of my family once said, it took her very long to notice when a man was interested in her. For me the opposite is the problem, it takes me very long to realize a Thai boy I’m interested in is not interested in me.

    “casual sex tourists only only interested in sleeping, eating and fucking” An interesting point, because eating and sleeping are non-issues for me and I always wonder why people lose so many words on the forums over where to eat and where to sleep.

    “I am continually saddened by those who repeat the old mantra that parting money is the only way for older men to enjoy sex with younger Asians” Free sex is a bit like taking the train from Bangkok to Pattaya, and then walking from the railway station to hotel. It is possible, it is much cheaper than bus, but at the end an unwise use of resources. I will try to keep a balance of 50% free sex and 50% paid sex, but at the end paid sex is a more efficient use of my time and money and sanity.

    “Join a gym or some sort of group that has Thai people in so that you can meet people that have other interests beside sex.” See the Asperger Autism above. And I’m introvert as well. For me, the only activity better done with a partner than alone is sex. However in Taipei I’m having language exchange Chinese-German with 5 people, and that is very interesting.

    “Stop hanging out with the pedophile sex tourist(s) that you are all ways hanging out with. All you are doing with them is listening to the same complaints like you are having.” That shit doesn’t stick. I have friends and readers from all walks of life, and most agree with me. The only exception is G from L who thinks every SEAsian he meets could have become a Nobel Prize Laureate if he wasn’t being suppressed, exploited, denied and education and underpaid.

    “Consider China” I would need a visa for China, which deters me from going there. Anyway, Taiwan can keep me entertained for years.

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  18. Thanks for the reply.
    I thought the recommendation 'Consider China' was tongue in cheek, last time I was in China your blog wasn't allowed there....

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    1. Now that you mention it, everything related to google is blocked in China, and blogspot is a service by google, so the block is nothing personal. Something to keep in mind if I ever go to China, and something I did not consider when I went to Taiwan. In Thailand and Taiwan I rely heavily on google maps for navigation. A friend who has been to China says, "Taiwan is China light".

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  19. Great answer..thoughtful piece of writing,
    thanks Christian..

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  20. Great responses Christian.
    I hope your trip in Taiwan is going well.
    Z909

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  21. Hi Christian,

    I have followed your posts and blog for several years, and I find to have a lot in common with you, to the point that you could be a younger Me. Also educated in a German family, for me being unreliable and not punctual is a grave flaw. Reading your post I became aware of Asperger's autism and I looked it up. I think it could fit me also, I have been successful in my career but I would have come much further ahead if not for my inability to deal with people. Now in my 70s I have finally been able to overcome this, and I am now a much more sociable (not senile!) person. Reading about your situation in life, I have two comments to make:

    1. Have you ever thought of putting your linguistic skills to use by teaching, tutoring in a foreign language in the Asian country you are in? English, German teaching must be valuable to local people, and a source of steady income, and perhaps it can be done in an independent way.

    2. Three years ago I discovered a wonderful martial art that seems to be just tailored to me, and this is Aikido. It has helped much my social skills, not to talk about physical ability and spirituality with meditation, breathing, stretching. It is like yoga but social and with practical value. For three years I have been doing this, going to the dojo two or three times a week to do the individual exercises and the practices in pairs with other guys and gals. I wish I had discovered this some...40 years ago, but it is never late. I now feel younger than when I started, self confident, less vulnerable. I am the oldest in the dojo, with others being half my age, but I can keep up with them without problem.

    Maybe steady tutoring some students of languages can give you additional income, more than enough to pay for training in Aikido (or other useful activity), all done without any sexual undertones that you can reserve for your main activity of sex with the nice Taiwan boys, having found relief of financial and social issues :)

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    1. 1. While I'm fluent in English, it's not my mother tongue and friends tell me I have strong accent, so teaching English is out of question. However I'm doing several language exchanges Chinese-German, and that is quite interesting.

      However that is dealing with intermediate to advanced speakers. I could not teach in a class. In my last years at university, I was involved in some supervision and teaching, and I can summarize my experiences "Wie schone waere die Univesitaet ohne Stundenten" = "How nice would university be without students".

      2. I will read about Aikido and ask a friend who has been doing it for years.

      Additional income. My situation is a gay version of the beginning of the wonderful book and movie "About a boy" 1998 novel by British writer Nick Hornby. Being parsimonious is in my character, and some services (I'm speaking of prostitution in hi-so places) in Thailand might be cheap by Western standards, but expensive in comparison to the rest of the country, so I don't use them.

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  22. Hi Christian,

    IF you don't mind me asking,
    when and how did you know you had Asperger's Syndrome?

    Thanks for the interesting text

    :)

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    Replies
    1. The first time I heard of Asperger's was in 2007 when I studied in the UK. One of my colleagues was weird, even by my standards. Another colleague mentioned Asperger's, so I looked it up and it all fitted him. Only much later, let's say 2015, did it occur to me that I have a light form.

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  23. Sir, I’ve oft enjoyed your perceptive and intriguing blog, peppered with your unique insights and private quirks – including those in the above denouncement of your situation in Thailand.

    Ordinarily I’d say that a mere change in geography won’t change any of one’s underlying problems/issues/limitations – but you say you’ve favourably tested the waters over there, so best wishes. GS

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  24. I have an American friend who has been living and working in Taiwan for several years. I think he mainly teaches English to be able to stay but also operates a hiking tour company with some other ex-pats and is a freelance photographer. I met him doing a couple of private tours around the country. I think he's been trying to learn Chinese for all the years he's been there and he's still working on it.

    It is a fascinating and beautiful island for sure. I love Taipei. The public transit system is so extensive and cheap. Very cute boys.

    Best of luck to you.

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  25. I’ve read your blog for years on and off. Indeed it was your info that gave me the courage on a solo trip to Bangkok to visit a gogo boy bar for the first time, with a vague idea of what to expect and look out for.

    Now that you say you believe you have Aspergers, it suddenly occurs to me that something intriguing you often said about your encounters may be literal rather than some kind of euphemism.

    You often described meeting a guy and checking his skin temperature. Was that a real thing? I’d always assumed it was a euphemism for putting your hand down his underwear. Perhaps this is what happens when British people read Germans in English. We assume you aren’t speaking literally.

    Anyway - good luck in Taiwan. I’m afraid after a while you’ll start to see similarities with a Thailand that will frustrate you. Much more based around the concept of “face” and the loss of face being such a terrible thing in Chinese based societies, but quite similar to the way Thais smile and say yes when they mean no. Taiwan can be similar.

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    Replies
    1. A lot of what I write is not to be taken serious. However the skin temperature check is.

      I really like warm and dry skin. The warm is more important than the dry. I can have sex in steam rooms and saunas where skin is wet, but it has to be warm to the touch (strangely, even there some have cold wet skin). But I prefer warm and dry; when a boy comes out of the shower and didn't completely dry his skin, I will do so.

      A friend of mine is just the opposite, he likes cold and wet skin. What do others prefer?

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    2. cold and dry skin it is what I prefer.

      Delete

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