Quiz: What happened?

Quiz: what happened?

Picture shows  metacarpal fracture from last year, long healed. Solution after pictures, but my readers are invited for educated guesses nonetheless. (German: Mittelhandknochenbruch)

Not a case for a Darwin Award (Nominee must be dead or rendered sterile. not fulfilled, just bad luck).

I had an accident while getting a haircut. On my way to my hairdresser, I got sweaty. I have been going there for years, and I was the only customer, so I took off my shirt to cool down and my hand got into the rotating ceiling fan. He told me this has happened to another customer before. There was a bit of blood, no pain, so I stayed to get a haircut and only two days later, swelling increasing, I went to hospital. My assumption was an infection (fans are among the most dirty things in a household), but x-ray showed a fracture that was put in a cast.

There is nothing to learn from this accident, other than "don't stick your hand into a rotating fan".

Or my loyal reader Vinapu: "getting sick is unhealthy".

But I take this as an occasion for various jokes:

I was attacked by a ceiling fan, and after heavy defensive fights I escaped slightly wounded. After this near-death experience, I fully recovered.

Having one hand in a cast poses some difficulties in daily life. I already had a water bottle that can be opened with one hand in daily use. I had a magnetic charging cable for my phone (attach/detach with one hand). The doctor said I won't be able to play the piano for a while. No problem, we don't have a piano at home and I can't play the piano anyway.

Think of all the possible subsequent accidents: Things I usually hold or do with my left hand, I have to do with my right hand. Unnatural motion sequence, I could drop something. I could slip and, not being able to use both hands to catch the fall, have another injury. Walking with open laces in the airport, the lace could get caught in a travelator or escalator.

In Thailand, I wear flip-flops. But the accident was a week before my flight to Germany. On my day of departure, a friend did my laces, but I had to take off my shoes at security. I didn't want to ask staff to do my laces, so I went online and found instructions how to do laces with one hand, and it worked! Home in Germany, my mother refused to do my laces and insisted we buy shoes without laces (just need a shoehorn). This was a full success, even now I wear those shoes in Germany, to save me the time and effort to bend down and do laces.

(going to see a doctor two days after the accident:)
If this had happened in Stalingrad, I would not even have gone to see a doctor. There were no ceiling fans in Stalingrad anyway.

Anyway, I would not have gotten a (German Verwundetenabzeichen, English Purple Heart), but rather a disciplinary transfer for self-mutilation.

What happened? - A work accident.
A work accident? - I sprained my wrist while wanking.

Luckily the broken bone is in my left hand, I can still use my right hand for wanking. Luckily, I don't work with my hands, but with my brain and cock.

In addition to "Traveling with diarrhea" and "Traveling with frequent urination" I can now write another book "Traveling with a cast". One of my friends is decrepit and requests a wheelchair whenever he travels by air because he wouldn't make it from check-in to gate on foot. Another one can walk, but looks decrepit and requests, and gets, a wheelchair. So I decided to try.

I had an economy flight BKK-SIN-BER but went to priority check-in. Staff asked to see my medical certificate and then processed my check-in and called me a wheelchair. But after waiting for about 15 min, I cancelled the wheelchair and went to boarding gate on my own. Doing laces after taking off shoes at security see above. Change in Singapore worked fine, I was picked up at the airplane by wheelchair and sent to boarding gate. In Berlin I waited for wheelchair, gave up, and made my way through airport alone.

In Germany an odyssey: doctor in my hometown has no x-ray, so I had to get an x-ray in a hospital and come back. There were complications, so he sent me to another doctor that requires travel of about 1 hour by train. I got an appointment that fitted train times well, but the day before I had another look at the timetable to find rail replacement service. That means three hours travel time instead of one, each direction. In total, I spent 9 hours out of home, less than 20 minutes with the doctor.

Nowadays have to check timetable before every trip (delays and cancellations and rail replacement) and call everywhere (museums, restaurants) to make sure they are open. Rail replacement, in German "Schienenersatzverkehr" of which a friend said sounds like chalk screeching on a blackboard.

This year, I spent more time in hospitals that in gogo bars and I can warn my readers: gogo bar visits are shorter, cheaper and more fun.

Copyright 2023 ChristianPFC except memes