Dating Thai boys (83) Asking questions
A draft of this post was accidentally posted prematurely on 29nov2018 here: https://christianpfc.blogspot.com/2018/11/dating-thai-boys-asking-questions-draft.html Now full version.
Thai boys ask completely different questions and give
completely different answers than Whites do. Here some observations and
thoughts.
Have you eaten yet?
Eating is a non-issue for us, but I assume most Thai boys’
grandparents know hunger, and for boys from Cambodia, Lao or Myanmar,
even their parents still know hunger. So food was an issue just decades ago. Now it's a general greeting like "How are you" in English.
This is mirrored by a friend from Germany, who likes lewd
and ordinary talk, greeting me with “Heute schon gefickt?” (Did you have sex
today?) because this is one of the main things on his mind.
I have one piece of chat from a friend where “Have you eaten
yet?” was used to lead over to “But I haven’t eaten yet, because I have no
money for food.”
Where are you now?
I usually ask this early on, because I don’t want to chat, I
want to fuck! And for setting up a date, location is important. I would use
chatting just to establish “Sex yes/no, when and where?”, but have to go
through all the crap.
To “Where are you now?”, I expect (often in vain) answer of
a similar geographical level. When I’m in Bangkok Sathorn, and the boy replies
that he is in Thailand, that is of little use. Similar “I’m at home”, “I’m with
my sister” and the like is of no use.
The importance is shown by a chat with
attention-deficit-hyperactivity-syndrome (in this case rather retard) boy on
29.10.2015. In the afternoon, he writes he wants to go with me to Khao San in
the evening. One hour before agreed meeting time (without place specified), I
ask where he is. First reply “@home now”. Then link to location: Phetchabun! I
should have asked earlier, then I wouldn’t have lost two hours in planning my
evening.
There are two ways to ask "Where are you?" in Thai. "อยู่ไหน yòo năi " will give an answer "I'm home/at work/...", whereas "แถวไหน tăew năi" which will give a name of a place (province, town, road, shopping mall).
What are you doing now?
Irrelevant, but I ask it as well as a conversation starter,
or to see if a boy is working or not. When I’m in sauna, massage, bar, have
sex, I switch my phone to airplane mode anyway, so I don’t have to lie, and for
everything else I wait for some innocent activity like eating, reading,
internet, riding on bus/taxi/train, or simply ignore the question or reply with where I am (and let the boy figure out what I'm doing there, mostly it's obvious).
Who are you with? Who do you travel with? Thai or Farang friend?
Thai boys often ask me “who are you with”, and I still can’t
see why that matters. Probably serves to assess my relationship status. For me, the boy's relationship status is irrelevant, I just want to have sex. I don’t care and never ask who they are with.
I dread "ไปกับใคร bpai gàp krai" (who are you going with?) because it can lead to endless chat about my relationship with traveling companion.
A similar subject was discussed here: https://www.gayguides.com/forums/topic/10209-is-your-boyfriend-thai/
The previous three paragraphs show that questions show how people tick or what is the most important thing on their mind.
I ask "Where are you now?" because for me, distance is the most important barrier to meeting a boy. I travel mostly by walking and public transport which would take too long and be too inconvenient to meet a boy. I'm reluctant to take a taxi to pick up a boy (danger of no-show). Whereas a friend who has a car will pick up any boy within 10 km from his location without hesitation.
For Thai people, my relationship status is important because having sex with someone who is in a relationship bears social stigma, and if caught, not the cheating boyfriend is the culprit, but the one who seduced him.
When I talk with my parents about my activities in Thailand and mention Farang friends, my mother would often ask "Does he have brothers or sisters?" Now finally my loyal reader vinapu's question from two years ago is answered: my mother grew up as eldest of 4, her parents both working, so she had to take care of her 3 younger siblings and that determined her life until she moved out and that's the most important thing on her mind!
Multiple choice questions
Avoid multiple choice questions like “Do you like ice cream
or cake?” The answer might be “Yes.”
https://www.gayguides.com/forums/topic/12314-translate-app/?do=findComment&comment=133018
If the boy can speak a small bit of English, then only ask him closed questions e.g. "Would you like short time or long time?" "Are you top or bottom?" are both BAD as the answer will inevitable be an ambiguous YES or NO Better to as them "We go long time, ok?" "I fuck you, ok?" work much better as there is on ambiguity about the answer
https://www.gayguides.com/forums/topic/12314-translate-app/?do=findComment&comment=133018
If the boy can speak a small bit of English, then only ask him closed questions e.g. "Would you like short time or long time?" "Are you top or bottom?" are both BAD as the answer will inevitable be an ambiguous YES or NO Better to as them "We go long time, ok?" "I fuck you, ok?" work much better as there is on ambiguity about the answer
Are you top or bottom?
I used to not like when a boy asks me “are you top or
bottom”, and I never asked about prospective sexual activities, but now I like it because these boys have sex in mind (so do I!) and not “can you help me with (rent/phone/shoes/…)” or หาพี่ใจดี hăa pêe-jai-dee (looking for generous elder) or “no sex before
marriage”.
Asking two questions
Never ask a boy two questions at the same time. You might
get one answer, but you won’t be able to assign the answer to one of your
questions.
Or: https://www.thailandredcat.com/strange-and-weird-habits-of-thai-people/
When you ask Thai People two questions, they
will only answer the second one.
Asking one question
So if I can ask only one question to assess if the boy is available for sex in the next few hours, which should it be, "what are you doing" or "where are you"?
I lost count of how often I have asked “Do you have Line?”
and the answer was “Yes.” Followed by a gap, me waiting for his Line ID,
followed by “What’s your Line ID?” Now I just assume everyone has Line and ask
“What’s your Line ID?”
However some have a Line ID but don’t use Line at the
moment! (Try to move chat from hornet to Line, but messages on Line not read!)
Really?
When a boy asks me something, usually "Where are you?" or "What are you doing now?", I sometimes get "Really?" as a reply. That puzzled me long time because I thought it's an expression of disbelief. But one friend once explained to me it's rather an expression of encouragement or admiration and does not require a reply.
update: https://sawatdeenetwork.com/v4/showthread.php?21772-Thai-boy-questions
Copyright 2020 ChristianPFC
Copyright 2020 ChristianPFC
