Tuesday, 24 October 2017

Dating Thai boys (60) Bas Pitsanulok continued


Dating Thai boys (60) Bas Pitsanulok continued

If you read only one sentence of this post, let it be this: 
If you (ChristianPFC) have no money, I (Bas Pitsanulok) don’t want you (as a friend/boyfriend/sex partner). ไม่มีก็ไม่เอา

(Bas is from Sukhothai, but studies in Pitsanulok, so I refer to him by either town.) After some very positive encounters end of Jul 2017, Bas asked me to send him money online, which I refused, and from there on it went downhill. One last encounter in Bangkok ended slightly positive (but now I ask myself: was there still a chance or did he just try to drain as much money as possible from me?), and I was looking forward to going to see him in Pitsanulok as soon as possible (after return from Myanmar trip).

For the right boy I could go anywhere in Thailand, any time. But here the momentum was lost, so it took some weeks until I had time to go to visit him, but when I wrote him about my upcoming visit in Pitsanulok, the reply was indifferent, so I went elsewhere.

But then first week of October, on trip to Phrae – Phayao – Chiang Rai, I would pass Pitsanulok twice anyway, and could stay a night to meet him, so I messaged him:


Translation, slightly edited:
Bas: I study and work part time.
Video call to talk about my upcoming trip to Pitsanulok.
CPFC: You are cute.
Bas: Can I borrow 5000 Baht?
CPFC: How much is the mobile phone? (Referring to the video call where Bas told me he wants to buy a new phone.) I don’t have 5000 Baht.
Bas: Second hand mobile phone for 14,500 Baht.
CPFC: I don’t have (the money).
Bas: If you have no money, I don’t want you. Bye.

That’s a very clear message, and stepping back would be a loss of face for him. But I’m not into this face business, so I can make a total idiot of me trying to meet the boy again: during the trip sending messages and pictures from Chiang Rai, and pictures of us from happier times before he asked for money, they were read but no reply, and at the end not even read (probably because he blocked me on Line). Call him by phone number: first two calls incomprehensible, then line occupied. Message and call him on facebook messanger, finally he blocked me.


It’s an absurd situation: 
I’m running after the boy, while he should be running after me.

I have done everything reasonable to get him back, but now I will move on. Good luck finding someone who “lends” you 5000 THB after knowing each other for some days!

It started to go downhill here (copy from above link):

2017/07/28(Fri)
18:20 Bas Plok ขอเงินกินข้าวบ้าง Can I have some money for food please?
18:20 Christian งง I’m confused.
18:20 Bas Plok ตังหมด I have run out of money.
18:21 Bas Plok ขอเงินหน่อย Some money please.
18:22 Christian ทำยังไง How can we do?
18:22 Bas Plok โอนเงินเข้าบัญชีผม Transfer online to my account.
18:23 Bas Plok ได้ไหมที่รัก Can you, dear?
18:23 Bas Plok รบกวนคุณรึป่าว Am I bothering you.
18:23 Christian รบกวน You are bothering me.
18:23 Bas Plok เคร Okay.
18:23 Christian เดินทางกับเพื่อนรึ Are you travelling with a friend?
18:24 Bas Plok ครับ yes
18:24 Bas Plok แต่ไม่มีเงินติดตัว But he has no money with him.
18:24 Christian ขอเพื่อนไห้ยืนเงิน Ask your friend for money [we were writing at the same time]
18:33 Bas Plok ไม่เป็นไร No problem.
18:33 Bas Plok ในวันที่ฉันเดือดร้อน คุณไม่สามรถช่วยเหลือ ดูแลฉันได้ The day I have a problem, you can’t help me and take care of me.
18:34 Bas Plok เราจบกันแค่นี้ Let’s split.
18:34 Bas Plok โชคดี คิสเตียนร์ Good luck, Christian.

This (requests to send money online) will happen again with the next boy, and I have to be prepared. “You are bothering me” is the truth, but certainly not helpful in such situation.

The truth is, I have the money, and when I’m home I can send it instantly by online banking, but I will not because that gives a wrong signal. Best will be to tell the boy I have no bank account*, and there is no ADM (automatic deposit machine) anywhere near my room (which is true).

*In general, either cut all money talk short and change subject, or confront the boy: “if you are looking for money, do so with someone else”, depending on circumstances.

If a boy asks me to send money online that means our relationship is going in the wrong direction and he is not boyfriend material, but at least I could have squeezed out a few more good free sex if I had played it right, until finally greed breaks through and that will be the end.

Now looking back, before we first met he had pictures on facebook and hornet of him in a pool in Phuket. Nobody else in the pictures or texts, that should have risen my suspicion: there must have been a sponsor, Thai or Farang, and that set the bar for all coming acquaintances. (A trip to Phuket, a new mobile phone, anything else tangible must come forth after some days of knowing each other. My love, dedication, commitment is not enough.)

Upon return to Bangkok, I posted a picture of a friend's Samsung Galaxy Note 8 with original box on facebook with text: "I bought a Note 8 for a friend in Pitsanulok, but my friend was not free to meet, so I will give it to someone else". I didn't get a reply from Bas, don't even know if he read the post, but got a record number of likes, comments and messages, some of them from people I didn't have contact with for years.

Copyright 2017 ChristianPFC

9 comments:

  1. " you money boy " is all u need to ask ......

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually I did that (in different words) before we first met. But these Thai boys can change their mind quickly.

      But indeed, it's better for me to raise the issue of money early on in conversation, so I don't lose time chatting and traveling only to find out someone expects money.

      Delete
  2. Christian, seriously....your ability to seek out and get to the amazing sites you go too, shows me you obviously score high in intelligence, adaptability, and ingenuity. However, for the life of me, I can't understand how you can speak Thai, and not know what Bas is saying to you. Especially when you feel so strongly about him.

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  3. Thanks for the good laugh. "... he should be running after me..."

    ReplyDelete
  4. Second hand mobile phone for 14,500 thb?
    One could get a very good new phone for 4,500 thb.
    It's good that you stood your ground to young men who don't appreciate the value of hard earned money.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Either the relationship should be for the love of it, or if it's a commercial transaction, is should always be on a pay per shag basis, with payment in cash once the deed is done.
    You're clearly wasting your time with this one.
    Z

    ReplyDelete
  6. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  7. You have been living in Thailand long enough to know that the relationship with a thai boy you’re hoping to have will never happen.

    ReplyDelete

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