Repost: Are most Thai boys retards?

Repost: Are most Thai boys retards?

5th anniversary of "Are most Thai boys retards?"
Originally posted on 29oct2013 on various gay forums:
http://www.gaybuttonthai.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=6143
http://www.gaythailand.com/forums/topic/9291-are-most-thai-boys-retards
https://sawatdeenetwork.com/v4/showthread.php?15710-Are-most-Thai-boys-retards
(On baht-stop and gaytingtong as well, both have gone offline.)

The probably most controversial post since I started reading and writing on the gay Thailand forums in 2009. Followed by 
(controversial posts by others)

Ode to boyish beauty on 6may2017
http://www.gaythailand.com/forums/topic/11024-ode-to-boyish-beauty/ (visible only to members) and 

The Real Thailand "5 Things They Don't Want You to Know About Gay Thailand" alternative title: Do you drink beer for breakfast?
http://www.gaythailand.com/forums/topic/9827-the-real-thailand/ on 26feb2015 and picked up by Bangkokbois:
https://bangkokbois.sawatdeenetwork.com/2015/02/26/5-things-james-barnes-doesnt-want-you-to-know-about-out-in-thailand/

Now I can answer my question: No. "Retard" means below average, however the behavior described in my post was the average!

Looking back 5 years, I certainly met plenty of idiots, and still do but only rarely nowadays. After years of toiling, my dating situation has improved vastly. I wish I could tell me readers how that came, but I don't know why. I think I got better at detecting who is interested, and I have more choice of whom I'm going to meet.

For years, being able to read and write Thai did not offer much advantage in dating. But now it finally does. This year I met dozens of nice boys who do not speak English and where reading and writing Thai was crucial for communication.

Original text:

Are most Thai boys retards?

A provocative title, and I won’t get new friends with this post, but I mean it exactly as I wrote it. Anyway, it’s a question and not a statement, so feel free to answer “no” and let me know why. I use “retard” to collect all these “What the fuck?!” moments I have when I try to meet Thai boys (too late, wrong place, phone battery empty, doesn’t tell me something important he knew hours ago and many more, I lost count). More precisely “Are most Thai boys I have contact with retards?”, and I would like to hear other’s stories too.

Just when you think it gets better (last month, one boy about 5 km away, efficient communication in English, acceptable delays but it seems now we are drifting apart, anyway having so-so sex – but promising! - on two of six meetings is a poor yield; and another boy, efficient communication in Thai, acceptable delays, but one meeting failed – there must have been miscommunication) there is a row of problem cases.

But first some cases from earlier this year that I vividly remember.

There was one boy I met in February this year. He was 1 hour 50 minutes late (I remember exactly because not long before I had another boy who was 1 hour 50 minutes late, but I don’t remember details of that encounter). He stayed in On Nut, we met at MBK, so I thought skytrain would be the fastest way to get there, he took bus or van or whatever that caused part of the delay. Meeting point was Naai In Books in MBK, he went to Asiabooks in Siam Paragon. When he called me that he is in the bookshop now, and I couldn’t see him, I gave up and thought this is a lost case and he is just playing with me. I had a last look at a book I had missed before (that’s why I choose a bookshop, I can spend one or two hours there), and when I left, he just arrived. It was a matter of 30 seconds and we would have missed. Only then I found out that he went to the wrong bookshop.

The largest delay I ever had was 6 hours. That was in January 2010. I gave up after 3 hours and continued my schedule as if nothing had happened, then after 6 hours he called “I am here now. Where are you?”. One of these cases with poor pictures on gayromeo, he turned out not to be my type. I now pass profiles with poor pictures. About 4 out of 5 don’t pass my requirements for a clear facepic. It can’t be that difficult to post one, just one single picture that is in focus, not too dark, that shows your face without sunglasses (unless you are a retard, than this is a major challenge).

Two months ago, an acquaintance on Grindr, we then moved to Line and he wanted to come to my place (at least I thought so). Nearing the time we agreed upon, I ask where he is: “I think we can meeting tomorrow? Rain now little”. (I love Line. You have a written record, with times. So I know I am not imagining things.) When you have exchanged a few hundred messages and tried ten times to set up a date without success, this is probably a hint that there are evil forces in the universe that don’t want us to meet.

I went to see a friend on Koh Si Chang over a weekend. I have met him about five times, every time everything was fine. He said he would go to Bangkok the following week for five days to attend some training course. We discussed long where we could meet in Bangkok, I suggested Asiatique as it is close to his accommodation in Bangkok (Rama 2 / Ratburana). On Wednesday (his first day in Bangkok), I write on Line asking where he is and when he would like to meet. The message was read, but no reply. I interpreted this correctly: something is wrong. So I call later in the afternoon, he picks up, says hello and then hands the phone to his mother (?) who tells me that he is not in Bangkok at the moment. I give up. I doubt I will get an explanation next time we meet, but I will carefully try to elucidate what went wrong.

Last week a boy on gayromeo, we exchange phone numbers. I am free on Wednesday afternoon (holiday, 23rd of October) and call him. Meet in half an hour (my suggestion) at BTS Chong Nonsi (his suggestion). I arrive and cannot get him on the phone. I call every five minutes for half an hour, then I leave. Some days later, message on gayromeo: he lost or broke his phone. I assume he didn’t come to Chong Nonsi, the station is too big to meet there without specifying a place where exactly to meet.

Last weekend in Pattaya. I had written on gayromeo with a boy who has an interesting profile, our chat was promising. I wrote I would be free on Saturday early afternoon. (I wrote this twice, on Thursday and on Friday.) When I called him on Saturday around noon, he said he would be leaving Pattaya now to take bus back to his home province to continue university. So we missed. Going back to his home province to continue studying isn’t a spontaneous decision, I assume. It’s getting rarer and rarer that I read a profile and look at the pictures and think “This one is different!”, only to be disappointed: different boy, same problems.

At the same time, I was online on gayromeo and an old acquaintance wrote to me (we didn’t have contact for about two years). He wants to meet. I suggest Tuk Com (because I can spend an hour there without getting bored). He agrees and would meet me there in 15 to 20 minutes. 30 minutes later, I call him and he asks me to come to Tony’s Fitness because he has many friends around Tuk Com and doesn’t want to be seen there (I didn’t ask why). I had mentioned Tuk Com and the Se-ed bookstore at least three times in written or spoken form. So I walk to Tony’s Fitness (about 10 minutes). Did you think he is there, waiting for me? Really? No, it takes another three phone calls and 10 minutes waiting until he arrives on a motorbike taxi. He tells me to jump on and off we drive (my head the highest point, no helmet, my knees the outmost points) for about 30 minutes into the darkest part of the Eastern side of Sukhumvit (I didn’t know that there is that much Thai and even Farang live!). The fare was 350 Baht (he paid, that must have included other trips as my return trip was only 120 Baht and 22 minutes). I must point out that I mentioned “let’s talk first” when we chatted, hopping on a motorbike and driving half an hour to a place I don’t know is not my style. He was very horny, I played along, it was so-so, there is potential.

An acquaintance from Camfrog from Hat Yai comes to Bangkok (we had a few times camsex – I’m not a fan of camsex, but better than wanking alone when I was in Europe – but never met in real life). I call him Monday afternoon. He picks up, connection is poor, suddenly interruption. I call again, he tells me he is busy and hangs up (I get that from time to time, no goodbye, they just hang up before everything is said so I have to call again, or there is background noise and the connection slips after a few seconds). Then in the evening some calls I make don’t get through, others with very poor connection or just background noise, I give up. There are evil forces in the universe that don’t want us to meet. It was actually he who wrote to me on Skype that he would come to Bangkok, so I assume he wants to meet.

You could think the Thai mobile network is the problem, but I never had these problems when I called Farang friends.

The boy from the second paragraph, make that two meetings failed. I am getting better at detection when “yes” means “no”. There are communication problems (in Thai), I think he will come to my place, but he will not. I don’t understand everything he says, but I leave with the thought “That didn’t sound enthusiastic, I would be very surprised if he actually came to my place”. I could go to Sanam Luang where he works, and then to a short time hotel, but if I pay for taxi anyway, why do I always have to do the driving, and then pay for short time hotel? Next time I will meet him there and ask about his work conditions to see if there is a day and time when he can come to my place (he did once so far, and I went to see him two times). It works out like this: I go to Sanam Luang (150 Baht) and back 150 and pay for short time room 200, or I give him 500 which allows him to come to my place 150 and go back to his place 150 and leaves him 200. My expense is the same, but I can wait in the comfort of my home and spend two hours doing something useful instead of traveling through Bangkok. (Before someone shouts “It’s all about the money!” it is not, it is about who is traveling to meet for a sex date.)

I stopped counting, the list could go on for pages, it is more the standard then the exception.

Wait, I have another one! On my second visit to Thailand, I went with a Thai friend from my first holiday to ICK (at that time I didn’t know where it is). He got drunk (at my expense) and then he disappeared. He was just gone and I was left out there alone, not knowing where I am, nobody speaking English! What a luck there are taxis! This is more a case of irresponsible behavior than being a retard.

And boys who change their phone numbers, why? I lost one German mobile phone number and one Thai mobile phone number because they expired, but only because I was not living in that country permanently. And empty battery? Can happen, but it never happened to me until last Saturday, where I was left for 15 minutes with a phone with empty battery, the first time since I started using mobile phones twelve years ago.

All the cases cited above were non-moneyboys, and I chose a central well known place (like MBK) to meet or let them choose a place to meet. I don’t remember meeting a money boy from internet, I want to see them in real life first, so I go to bars or Saranrom.

It’s not only Thai boys. I wrote about Black Woman before, and now I can add another experience. She doesn’t have a purse, she puts money loose in her handbag and every time she has to pay something she rummages through her bag to get the money. It takes minutes. Or does she do this on purpose hoping would get bored and pay for her? It doesn’t work!

A counter example (the only one I have) is a Thai friend of mine who is a hi-so buisinesswoman. She is on time every time, no problems with phone calls or SMS (that’s probably how she got successful in business, simply by being on time and efficient communication). In this case, I am the one who is late (by Thai standards you wouldn’t call five minutes being late, but by my standards, even if five minutes after a trip of two hours is just 4% off.)

I this just statistics, and all failures are accumulated in the first ten months of the year and I am in for a treat in the next two months to level everything out over the year? Or should I just accept that this life is one of mismatches and obstacles, and hope the next one will be better? (That was a joke, I don’t believe in rebirth or afterlife, I think you are born, then you lead a shitty miserable life like mine where nothing matches, then you die and rot and the worms eat you.)

Or is it my negativity that attracts these cases? When I set up a date I wonder “What will go wrong this time?” What am I going to do in that area at that time if the boy doesn’t show up? If you think I have had everything that can go wrong go wrong you are wrong, there are surprises every time. Do I have a profound lack of understanding of Thai culture or is it just that way that you come late to a date, or don’t go at all and don’t bother to tell the person who is waiting for you that you won’t come and why you won’t come or why you are late? Or am I looking for friends, fuckbuddies and a boyfriend at the wrong places (boys who are lo-so because they are retard)? Is it just lack of communication (in English or in Thai) and I fail to ask the right question at the right time or tell the boy what I have in mind?

What are your experiences? Share your stories how things can go wrong beyond imagination, and give an indication how frequently this happens.

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