Saturday, 15 October 2016

Dating Thai boys (45) learning from friends

Dating Thai boys: learning from friends

Many of my friends have different approaches on dating Thai boys.  Here some suggestions how to do things differently.

Meet only English-speaking boys
A friend who speaks good Thai (reading and writing as well) dates only Thai boys who speak English. These boys have mental ability to learn English and interest in western culture.

There is something to it. My experience with Burmese and Khmer money boys in Thailand have been positive throughout, and all of them spoke good English. The fact that they are in Thailand shows physical mobility (not just displacement, but going somewhere with better options)

My experiences with Vietnamese money boys in Thailand have been very poor (two encounters, not enough for statistical analysis, but what I read in the forums confirms my experiences, and these two spoke poor or no English.

You should aim higher
Another friend once advised me “You should aim higher”. And indeed, when I met a boy I had from Saranrom during sightseeing by chance in his natural environment, I found out that he lives on the street and sniffs glue already in the afternoon and realized that I’m scratching at the bottom of the barrel.

Call instead of writing
Another friend prefers to call Thai boys on the phone or Line whereas I prefer writing on Line (I try to move conversation from facebook or gayromeo or hornet to Line if possible). By calling, he can tell what mood they are in and can exchange information much quicker than writing. What would be a 2-minute phone call can be dragged out to one hour when writing on Line.

When I write on Line, I have written record of what was written, but it can take long to come to an agreement. That was actually the main problem in these two cases recently reported:
(Or there is another problem that is completely covered by communication problem?)

I save thousands of Baht every year because money boys I am messaging or calling do not reply or pick up my call in time. About many boys' problems to hold onto a mobile phone read here:

When I chat with a new boy, I send some random messages (hello, how are you, pictures from recent trips) over a few days just to see how quickly he replies and if Line is a stable means of communication.

Profiles without pictures
Another friend pays attention to profiles (on gay dating apps or websites) without pictures and meets quality boys from all over south-east Asia. That works for him, but wouldn't work for me. I say in my profile “no pic, no chat”. Physical attraction, based on a clear face pic, comes first.

Meet soon after first contact
When I have a hit on the apps in Bangkok, it can take days or weeks until I meet the boy, in some cases months, in some cases both of us lose interest when it takes too long. I try to combine it with other business, or at least have an alternative plan in case the boy doesn’t show up. When I have a hit while traveling in the provinces, it can take months until I meet the boy.

A friend is quicker: when he has a hit on the apps in Bangkok, it usually takes him less than an hour to meet the boy. In addition, if there is no action on first encounter, he moves on.

Pick up and bring back boys by own car
The friend from above has his own car and picks up and brings back boys (otherwise it would be difficult to meet the boy within one hour after first contact). That avoids all discussion about taxi fare (all these boys go with him for free). Even in the most unfavorable circumstances he does so. In one case, we were on our way back from a daytrip, and to take the boy home it was a total of 100 km (!!!) and 2 hours (!!!) detour. That’s a huge waste of time and money (even the average trips to pick up and bring back can be 50 km and 1 hour in Bangkok), however I spend more time and money, often without result.

That’s out of question for me: I have no car and I don’t want a car, but I can see the attraction for the Thai boys. Saying goodbye at my room door, or going down with the boy to main road to show him the way to bus or MRT station, seems poor in comparison.

Shave instead of beard
I used to shave because I don’t like beard on my sexual partners. Then in 2013 a friend told me I would look good with a beard, so I shaved only every two weeks (shaving can waste a lot of time - a friend told me he used to shave twice per day when he was young - but after three weeks I don’t like the feeling of my beard). Now another friend told me he likes me beard very much. Overall, there seem to be as many who like my beard as who don’t like my beard.

Date boys in the provinces
Bangkok, Pattaya and Chiang Mai are places with a lot of options for both sides. The problem is non-commitment, waiting for something better to come along.

Boys in the provinces (even in provincial capitals there is little interesting to do in terms of gay night life) don’t have these options and seem to be more eager to meet. From a small sampling, I would say they are better organized and fewer character flaws than boys in Bangkok.

Sometimes they write on facebook that they are bored or feel lonely. When chatting, they invite me to come to see them (but I have to combine with sightseeing, if I’m very interested I can arrange to go within a month).

Smile more
Thai and Farang friends tell me I look too serious and I should smile more. But my life is a series of hardships and deprivations, I have no reason to smile!

Drinking and smoking
A friend who chats up boys everywhere likes to drink beer and used to smoke (but gave up smoking in 2015, a big round of applause for him!). Many boys do, too, so that’s a good way to invite them for chat. But I neither drink nor smoke, in rare cases I offer the boy a beer (which we have to buy at 7-Eleven as I don’t stock beer in my fridge), but smoking is a no-no.

Copyright 2016 ChristianPFC


  1. Even with hardships and deprivations there always good reason to smile as it could be worse.

    But likely you are just joking

  2. Why don't you try it all? Drinking, samoking, driving a car, smiling (if possible), calling, etc.
    One tip from a professional Thai guy dater: you meet the best men at non-entertaining places, such as a sport club, shops, resort (staff and guests) and by referral.
    Good luck.

    1. Interesting thought. And what does the professional Thai guy dater say about saunas?

      My statistics say that in 2015 5 out of 6 boyfriend candidates were from online dating, and for this year it looks similar.

      Out of gay saunas, gay venues, gay online dating, I have very few encounters.

    2. In two days at the book fair in QSNCC, I say many cute boys, but not a single person who looked gay to me. Over a year, I spot a low double digit number of gays, but these are not desirable as sexual partners for me. Meeting gays in everyday life doesn't work for me at all. I am completely reliant on gay venues or online dating.

  3. College Educated - Check.
    Apartment to live in - Check
    Money to live off of - Check
    Ability to travel - Check
    No major medical problems - Check.
    Family / Friends to communicate with - Check.

    So what exactly does this statement mean?
    "But my life is a series of hardships and deprivations, I have no reason to smile"

    You are most likely far better off of then the bar boys that you have sex with.

    1. Big cock - Check.

      Vinapu got it right, hardships and deprivations was a joke. The truth is, unless there is a reason to smile or to laugh, I don't smile or laugh. Which my Farang and Thai friends see as "you look so serious".

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. You see, your friends here are doing good job trying to lift your spirit up


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