Tuesday, 23 September 2014

Dating Thai boys (16) Boyfriend candidates 1 and 2

Dating Thai boys (16) Boyfriend candidates 1 and 2

(My requirements for a boyfriend should be read first.)

I get asked regularly by Farang and Thai friends why I don’t have a boyfriend. I am picky (see here) and there were innumerable disappointments in dating Thai boys, some of them reported in this blog (really only a tiny selection).

In my first year of coming to Thailand, I considered every boy I met as a potential boyfriend, that’s about one boy per day. Reflecting back, I spent several days with a boy, among other things to figure out other whether we could be boyfriends. Now I would barely look at him twice.

In my second year, that decreased to one candidate per week, in my third year one per month. Last year (fourth year) there were no real candidates at all. I met three moneyboys in Pattaya who I get along with well, and if we had met under different circumstances I would consider them. There are reports about successful boyfriend-ships with former moneyboys, but I think this isn’t for me. I can see them whenever I want (if they are at work!), pay and say goodbye.

This year however, brought three candidates.


I met M in May in Sathorn (after chatting on gayromeo in
April), where he stayed in a hotel with a Thai friend. Good English, pleasant company, very affectionate, efficient communication. Usually I’m picky but in this case facial skin impurities don’t matter. I like the way he dresses and his underwear. We got some time alone in the hotel, but sex was only so-so. I stayed over night with both of them. M had to leave early in the morning, no time to say goodbye or ask for money. After he left, his friend seduced me, and M learnt of it later, making some drama in Line.

He spent the following months in Samui and Phuket (but we talked about me going to see him in his home province Ratchaburi!) and read but didn’t answer several messages I sent, so I thought it is over. But then finally a reply, and I change my travel plans to go to see him in Phuket.

Some more details in Phuket report. Communication problems, finally request for money. He can't be that busy at work that he doesn't have time to pick up the phone or read message in Line, after we talked about meeting again the previous day. Hugging and cuddling perfect as I like it, but sex so-so.


Second candidate W. He wrote to me on Grindr, and though not clearly my type, I agreed to meet because his profile looks interesting and he was in walking distance. This is the first Thai boy I would consider an equal (adjusted for age; all other encounters are equivalent of doctor sleeping with nurse). First meeting promising. Second time he initiated sex, it was so-so (a bit too fat and too hairy). But interesting conversation, very different from the usual. And there is some overlap in education and interests.

Unfortunately, he has a bitchy vein, which I don’t like at all.

“Now we are in Soi Tonson ต้นสน, and in Ang Thong I went to Wat Tonson. What does Tonson mean?”
“Consult your dictionary!” (I look it up in my dictionary.)
“Pine tree.”
“No, it’s conifer!”

Then there were a few urgent requests to stay with me overnight, which I could accommodate in some cases. But he didn’t ask for money, even paid for cinema once.

Then I talked about my recent trip to Phuket and that I would go again for the vegetarian festival (update: will not go this year, too busy elsewhere). He accused me of wasting my time and money by going twice. I was surprised, because there is some truth. Then it dawned on me: I had told him earlier that I will stay in Phuket town next time and not in Patong again, and he turned this against me. But I didn’t tell him that my friend stayed in Patong and wouldn’t be around for the vegetarian festival, so I would have to go twice. But still, this picking on details and negativity, how deceptive and twisted! He should join the forums!

The weirdest thing is that he comments on my posture (like my mother told me to sit with my back straight when I was a child) and eating habits (not to touch the spoon with my teeth, because it makes a sound – no joke!). In principle he is right, but it’s inappropriate to mention this during a date.

And when we are in bed, he twists my balls until I shout "Stop, it hurts!" whereupon he will tell to to say it in English, German or Thai, and will release me after I comply. But we won't get into that situation any more.

When we meet it’s inspiring, but I can’t stand him more than 3 hours.

(Sorry no picture of my boyfriend candidates. Candidate 3 will be posted tomorrow, and in two days I will invert both posts to put them in logical order.)

Copyright 2014 ChristianPFC


  1. Hi Christian, first one you found through gay romeo and second one through grindr, I can't believe these kind of starts gonna work..especially if they are money boys..:)

  2. im been playing this game many yrs & keep concluding that through whatever reasons, mainly due to culture differences? it just dont work for me trying to have sanity in my life & a logical train of thoughts to keep up with all the crap a thai bf can & does bring, thats discounting all the crap their families can also bring in you get deeply involved, so i just keep to short term on & off encounters with about 4 regulars, i am very picky also - marc

  3. Sorry to join the negative chorus, but 'communication problems' & 'requests for money' do not sound encouraging for #1. As for #2, you say he's 'not clearly my type' & he's bitchy & critical. Maybe you could talk to him about his attitude & maybe he would change. But if the physical attraction is not there, what's the point?

    Anyway, good luck, Christian; I hope you find the nice boyfriend you deserve!

  4. Boyfriend you deserve! ! 555 these are not real boyfriends. Mainly due to the money aspect. Why stck to this very small part of sex for money or sex with straights and attempt a relationship with normal thai guys in college, business etc

  5. Would you try to get a bf in nyc on the basis of money?

  6. anon1: neither of these boys is a money boy

    anon2: I think in a few years I will come to the same conclusion

    tmca: I won't change and he (#2) won't change, I keep seeing him because he is refreshingly different from the usual

    anon3: You misunderstood. These two are (or were) genuinely attracted to me.

    anon4: No. But this is Thailand, and not the USA or Germany. I am the wealthier part in all these encounters, and by custom I pay, and this is fine for me to a certain degree. The question is pay for what and how much. In Europe I would probably date people of similar education and income where this question does not arise.

  7. Nr. 2 ist lustig, halt dich an ihn. Ich kann mir nicht vorstellen, dass du in Thailand einen Thaijungen für eine langfristige Beziehung finden wirst. Du bist sogar in Deutschland speziell, eine Art Freak. Die Thais müssen dich für ein Alien halten. Es gibt auch süsse deutsche Jungens. Viel Spass dir aber weiterhin, hast du mehr als fast alle hier in D....

  8. interesting read and interesting comments but you need to follow your guts/ old fashioned would say heart /, keep searching which can be frustrating but pleasant also, You have good attitude in a sense that you ane not blinded by your prejudices and desires but seem to see things as they are


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